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  • Justin 11:24 pm on December 16, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , JRR Tolkien, , LOTR, , , Smaug, The Battle of the Five Armies, The Hobbit   

    Battle of the Five Armies Review | More of the Same 


    Picking up from where the cliffhanger of the last movie left off, this action-oriented installment opens with protagonist Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) and his dwarf pals fretting over having unwittingly awakened Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch). If you can’t remember, last year’s The Desolation of Smaug ended with the dragon leaving his mountain lair and heading to Lake-town to do some old school fire damage on the town.

    The Battle of the Five Armies, the conclusion to The Desolation of Smaug also starts so abruptly, you’ll be checking to make sure you haven’t arrived after the movie had started. It’s been a year since the second installment ended, but Jackson treats it like yesterday, cranking up the film just frames after the last movie stopped dead in its dragon tracks. Even the good-natured Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) doesn’t have enough screen time to bring his tender, journeyman touch to the tale. Freeman, who is a great actor, can’t make a role work when he’s reduced to a footnote in the story.


    There was a time when fields covered with thousands of warriors would have been impressive enough. But audiences are too savvy to filmmaking to be blinded by quantity over quality. The battles aren’t as crisp as they should be in the 3-D version. The process always darkens the image and this movie’s inherently lack of lighting suffers more because of the gimmicky film process.

    Jackson’s skill as a storyteller — that was so well displayed in the original Lord of the Rings trilogy — has been once again replaced by a mishmash of action with recycled characters. The most annoying example is Ryan Cage’s role of Lake-town flunky Alfrid, which has been expanded from a meaningless player to a painfully unfunny comic relief. Appearances by Cate Blanchett as Galadriel, Hugo Weaving as Elrond and Christopher Lee as Saruman feel forced, as if Jackson was more interested in giving loyal fans a treat than keeping to the story structure. Just because this is the “end” doesn’t mean everyone needs to take a curtain bow. Legolas (Orlando Bloom) is also back and has become a video game character; at one point he literally jumps up falling blocks (Weta Digital just needed to include that sound that Mario makes when he jumps in the air).


    The two main problems with The Battle of the Five Armies is the abrupt leap into the story coupled with an over indulgence in computer-generated military chaos. In a film series that has pressed the importance of even the simplest person, the last film replaces the oneness of a touching story with the blinding fury of the action sequences.

    It’s not a bad ending to the Hobbit’s unexpected journey, but it does not reach the standard set by the other films. Aside from Bilbo, the final chapter of The Hobbit trilogy is a sad shell of the franchise filled with dull set pieces and action sequences we care little about. Jackson earned his emotions and “perseverance and true bravery” themes in The Lord of the Rings. By comparison, The Battle of the Five Armies says “greed is bad”, which is pretty lame given this trilogy is based on one book, and cost ~$750 million to make, while also bringing in ~$2 billion to date.

    Grade: C

  • Justin 3:35 am on March 24, 2013 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Christopher Lee, , , , Piece of Crap, Shit, The Hobbit, Waste of Money, Waste of Time   

    Peter Jackson Takes a Dump on The Lord of the Rings Trilogy with The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. 

    I cannot wait for the “Honest trailer” on this movie…


    Everyone on the site knows how I kept saying last year I had zero interest in seeing The Hobbit in theatres and that Director Peter Jackson was a sellout. With poor reviews, I pulled off not seeing. Finally, now being for rent, I thought I’d give it a try.

    Bottom line, it is completely unnecessary, badly paced, and you will have zero (probably negative) emotional attachment while you watch. I thought about shutting it off about six times. It’s just embarrassing as it:

    1. Takes 40 minutes for the character to leave Bilbo’s house and start the journey (no joke)
    2. There’s zero personal connection and character development
    3. The special effects are crap
    4. It’s just horribly paced (and its 3 hours…)
    5. Howard Shore just reuses the same music which makes you wish you were watching the real deal (the original trilogy and not this abomination). He does have one new theme for the movie but it’s used so often its feel process oriented/going through a motion (everytime there’s action sequence, “que the new theme!”).
    6. And let’s not talk about the hippie wizard….
    7. The scene with Gollum is okay. I wish it was better, but the movie just moves along with no weight and substance and unfortunately carries over to even the scene with Gollum and Bilbo (but Martin Freeman does well with what he has).

    I will say there is one scene, the meeting of the white counsel, which is pretty good. In that scene, Saruman (Christopher Lee), Elrond (Hugo Weaving), Gandalf (Sir Ian McKellan), and Lady Galadriel (Cate Blanchett) hang out and talk about what it appears to be possible return of Sauron. And for a brief moment, only for five minutes, do you get to see some good acting, some good dialogue and remember that while the Lord of the Rings has flaws, it’s a great trilogy.

    The movie just has no real point and should be called The Hobbit: An Unnecessary Journey.  And we all know that The Hobbit itself is simply a short story for children, lighthearted, and not carrying the weight of the Lord of the Rings. But with that said, that doesn’t mean this has to be a bad movie.

    Grade: C.

    What have you done Peter Jackson.  But, I’ll say it again, I cannot wait for the “Honest trailer” on this movie.

  • Justin 5:10 pm on October 24, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , The Hobbit   

    Surprise, The Hobbit has a Runtime of Nearly 3 Hours 


    Peter Jackson recently spoke with Empire about The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey saying it will have the shortest theatrical run-time of all of his Middle-Earth movies. This is pretty funny once you find out that its run time is apparently 2 hours and 40 minutes…so hit up the bathroom before the movie starts:

    It’s looking like it’s going to be about ten minutes shorter than Fellowship was…So it’s going to be officially our shortest Middle-earth yet. I mean, Fellowship was just under three hours and this is about 2 hours 40 minutes at the moment.

    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey opens December 14th and stars stars Martin Freeman, Sir Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, Hugo Weaving, and Cate Blanchett.

    • paulywalnuts 4:16 am on October 31, 2012 Permalink

      Blatant money grabs are not always a good thing (see Star Wars episodes I-III) and not always a terrible thing (see Star Wars I-III). But Stephen Colbert in this movie? Seriously? Was Seinfeld to busy?

  • Justin 3:19 pm on September 19, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Adam Brown, Aidan Turner, Andy Serkis, Dean Ogorman, Graham McTavish, Ian McKellen, James Nesbitt, Jed Brophy, John Callen, Ken Stott, Mark Hadlow, , Peter Hambleton, , Stephen Hunter, The Hobbit, William Kircher   

    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey New Trailer 

    The second trailer for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Trailer was released this morning. Hardcore fans will probably be delighted with it. I was hoping the trailer would spark some interest from me as I’ve been rather turned off by The Hobbit as of late given it’s now spanning three movies/6-7 hours and I dont think its worth that, but the trailer was more of the same for me.

    It looks fine (I still think it all looks fake-to-the-point-of-distracting-now though…), lighthearted and feels like if you wanna live in the world of middle-earth, this is def for you. But I think its lacking alot of depth, but this is somewhat unfair to say b/c The Hobbit is a light-hearted book itself…

    The Hobbit Part I stars stars Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, James Nesbitt, Stephen Hunter, Mark Hadlow, Graham McTavish, Dean Ogorman, Peter Hambleton, Aidan Turner, Jed Brophy, John Callen, Adam Brown, Ken Stott, William Kircher, Andy Serkis, and Richard Armitage. It opens on December 14th.

  • Justin 1:17 am on September 1, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , The Hobbit   

    The Hobbit Trilogy | Official Titles and Release Dates 

    The official titles and release dates have been given for The Hobbit Trilogy:

    • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey will open on December 14th, 2012.
    • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug will open December 13th, 2013.
    • The Hobbit: There and Back Again will open July 18th, 2014.

    It also been reported that Smaug will appear only at the very end of The Hobbit Part I. Its still weird for me to think that in about 23 months we’ll have seen three hobbit movies over 6-8 hours….even though the third one has no budget, no script, and nothing officially filmed for it…

    • paulywalnuts 2:07 am on September 1, 2012 Permalink

      Is there anyone that’s excited about the Hobbit movies? I didn’t blame them for turning it into two movies, but three? Officially skipping all of them now.

    • Trev 8:31 pm on September 7, 2012 Permalink

      I’ll see ’em just for Howard Shore’s music. The hymn used in the first full trailer is just gorgeous.

  • Justin 6:28 pm on July 30, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , The Hobbit   

    The Hobbit is Now Officially A Trilogy…. 

    Well Jackson confirmed today via Facebook that The Hobbit will indeed be a trilogy. After Director Peter Jackson mentioned the possibility of a Hobbit trilogy at Comic-con, people have been wonderiing if it would happen. Thats right, the hobbit is now three movies spaning 7-8 hours total with the first installment this december, the second December 2013, and the final coming out summer of 2014. I may eat my words 2 years from now, but I do not like you anymore Peter Jackson….

    Here is his post in its entirety:

    It is only at the end of a shoot that you finally get the chance to sit down and have a look at the film you have made. Recently Fran, Phil and I did just this when we watched for the first time an early cut of the first movie – and a large chunk of the second. We were really pleased with the way the story was coming together, in particular, the strength of the characters and the cast who have brought them to life.  All of which gave rise to a simple question: do we take this chance to tell more of the tale? And the answer from our perspective as the filmmakers, and as fans, was an unreserved ‘yes.’

    We know how much of the story of Bilbo Baggins, the Wizard Gandalf, the Dwarves of Erebor, the rise of the Necromancer, and the Battle of Dol Guldur will remain untold if we do not take this chance.  The richness of the story of The Hobbit, as well as some of the related material in the appendices of The Lord of the Rings, allows us to tell the full story of the adventures of Bilbo Baggins and the part he played in the sometimes dangerous, but at all times exciting, history of Middle-earth.

    So, without further ado and on behalf of New Line Cinema, Warner Bros. Pictures, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Wingnut Films, and the entire cast and crew of “The Hobbit” films, I’d like to announce that two films will become three.

    It has been an unexpected journey indeed, and in the words of Professor Tolkien himself, ”a tale that grew in the telling.”


    Peter J




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